“I Am Who I Choose To Be” said Lois McMaster Bujold.
We are our choices. We can choose to control our choices, actions, and behaviors. The act of choosing to have self-control takes practice and time.
 They say, “Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes to know their struggles.”
This seems like a very difficult task for most people. Every day, we observe signs of people lacking empathy and lashing out at others, before they attempt to understand the entire situation. Consider these scenarios: * A car driving below the speed limit and blocking traffic. --> Maybe they are lost or bringing home their new baby for the first time. * A long line at the bank or grocery store. --> They need their money/items as much as you do. * A scowl on someone’s face when you say ‘hello.’ --> Perhaps they just received bad news or they are feeling ill or they didn't see you or they are insecure. * A loud, angry response to a simple question. --> Defensiveness is a sign of insecurity. * Miscommunication via email or text. --> Perhaps direct phone call or in-person communication is needed to fully understand context and body language.  Did you wake up this morning (or in the middle of the night!) and think, "I need some help?" All you have to do is ask! Contact Bree today to discuss your emotional, personal, and mental health needs. I am happy to offer confidential therapeutic support. View all the counseling services available to you -- in the comfort and convenience of your home. 
 I have passion for my goals, so I prep and plan. I’m smart and educated. I’m a good person. Of course, everything will work out exactly how I always thought it would.
Except, it didn’t!?! I’m confused. And I feel sad, disappointed, frustrated, and sometimes angry. How did this happen? Is it really true that I can’t have what I’ve always wanted? Did I really run out of time to accomplish this goal? Should I have made different choices along the way? Do I have to change my dreams, modify my goals … adjust?? Welcome to reality. It feels like a slap in the face. It hurts me emotionally. It fills my brain with racing thoughts. I repeat my unanswered question “why not?” to no avail. I feel defeated and lost. I want the outcome to be different. I want to know what I did wrong and how I can get back on track to reach my goals. Then, I remember: I am a counselor. I help people work through these same questions. I have 2 options: 1) I can wallow in self-pity or 2) I can accept this disappointment and adjust. Let’s look at my options: Anxiety is defined as “a state of apprehension” and “distress or uneasiness of mind.” Every person experiences a form of anxiety on a regular basis. Humans worry about money, jobs, relationships, health, choices, and a slew of others major and minor concerns.
We need some anxiety -- it shows us what we don’t like or what we desire to have more of. For example, if you are married and fighting with your spouse all the time, anxiety is reminding you to work harder on creating a happy and healthy relationship so you will not continue to feel miserable or lose your spouse. Another example: if you desire to have more money or status at work, anxiety can motivate you to put in more effort, time, and focus to reach your goal. Anxiety can motivate us to change our current circumstances. This is great!  Wouldn’t it be great to have every day go smoothly? The day would be perfectly balanced emotionally and physically; filled with love and laughter, kind words, support, creativity, affirmation, and sense of accomplishment… without feeling rushed, exhausted, or frustrated!
Oh, what a beautiful day! I struggle with desiring all of these things, but not always being able to achieve this level of happiness every day.  It seems like society has change from hard-working individuals to individuals who feel entitled to deserve more than one works to achieve. When did this change happen? Why did this change happen?
I have several working theories regarding this problem. One possibility is individuals, especially teenagers, expect instant gratification for every single thing! * Someone writes a post on Facebook – hopeful people “like” the comment * Someone posts a photo – eagerly waiting to see how many people comment * Someone sends an email – how long before impatience sets in waiting for a response * Someone sends a text – then sends another because the receiver was too slow to respond * Watching TV – no time for commercials so you upgrade to DVR.  1) Letting the Opinions of Others Control Your Life
It is not what others think, but how you feel about yourself that counts. You need to do exactly what is best for you and for your life. 2) The Shame of Past Failures Your past does not equal your future. Forgive yourself and move forward positively.  So, you are thinking about seeing a counselor. But, you need more information! What happens behind closed doors of a counseling session? Will it help? What do I say or do during the sesssion?
Take a deep breath and breathe out :) I provide a safe and comfortable therapeutic environment for individuals and families. I help clients work through their struggles effectively and at their own pace, while using their own strengths. I teach life skills and appropriate coping strategies. I will explore the individual’s feelings, thoughts, behaviors, and perceptions and help them understand how their behavior is directly related to their views on self, others, and the world. I will encourage individuals in finding new solutions and to find ways to have a more satisfying and rewarding personal life. Therapy is a process. There is not a guarantee to “fix” problems. There are several treatment options and theoretical approaches to identify, diagnose, and treat clients. It is important to find a therapist who is empathetic, ethical, and professional. It is your duty as a client to find a therapist that is helpful to you. Effective therapists should challenge you within the framework of their therapeutic focus, while also keeping you safe. As a Cognitive-Behavioral therapist, I will challenge your maladaptive thought processes and give you homework assignments to practice thought and behavioral changes. Positive changes will not occur if you are not committed to making changes and/or disagree with my therapeutic orientation. Therapy is a partnership between counselor and client. Are you ready to begin your therapuetic journey? Contact Bree today! |
Bree Winkler, LPC, Ed.SMy goal is to help you use coping skills, change thoughts, and manage behaviors in order to decrease anxiety and depression symptoms. Archives
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